College and Hell.

College: I am liking college. It's cool how everyone is so chill and on their own path. Every class is really relaxing. I mean there will be a lot of work clearly, but it's nice. The first few days have been good. And my Acting 1 class is amazing! The people are just so kind and care free and hilarious and they find art in the craziest stuff. So, I can't complain about college. After college however....

Hell: I'm in hell. It's slowly getting cooler in hell. But yes, hell. How many times can I say it, I don't know. But I am. My world was slowly getting to the point of my perfect world. I was in la la land and I was falling in love. Texting all the time, snuggling, I was so happy. Then it slowly got awkward and strange and we stopped talking like we did. It lasted just a few days. So, I got sick of it and asked if everything was ok with us. I didn't get the answer I had hoped for and told him how I felt about it. He fell out of love right then and there..

I learned you can't hate someone because of how they feel because feeling is never wrong. Apparently, in my perfect world, that statement didn't matter. I took a lot of tears, a lot of friends, a lot of screaming, and a lot of french fries, even some throwing up to get the sick knots out of my stomach. But slowly, I'm healing.

It was painful. And I'm sad. And embarrassed and wish I could erase everything and make it Monday evening at 4 30 again.. I want it all back so badly.. If he reads this, I miss him...

On a brighter side, I lost 4 more pounds. Don't know if it was from the lack of eating, the random throwing up, or the heat and walking around campus, but it happened.

I'm slowly getting there.. But who knows whats in it for me next. I'm just going to go do some homework, because I already have too much..

Learningasigo....in every way.

-Alexa Starky