But, they have me working a lot and if I'm not working I'm at school, if I'm not at school I'm doing homework alone in a library.
But, I can't seem to sleep tonight so I will post some updates.
School: I'm making friends slowly but surely. It was nice walking into an environment where I knew no one. I love my theater class so much! They are the coolest people and my teacher is fantastic. But the class that stole my heart is my English 101 class. My teacher is amazing, I get to write every single day or at least talk about writing, and it's truly perfection. We had to write a rough draft to our own descriptive narrative for our first essay. Mine was just a rough draft and when we turned it in, I got incredible feedback from my teacher. She even announced it to the class. That finalized it. I'm changing my major to a literature or English major for the next semester. I needed just that, and I know it's my true passion and I want to write forever.
I definitely have this blog and you guys to thank for that. Who knew trying to change my body and myself could lead to a change in my passions as well. I couldn't be happier with that.
Work: I got my job about 4 weeks ago and I just love it. They have me working a lot but, that just means more money, more time to walk around and burn some calories seems that I don't have a ton of gym time anymore, and I just get to focus on something. I'm very content there.
Love: I'm still caught up on the last issue that went down.. Any down time I have, or whenever something great happens, he's the first one I want to text or he's the first one I think about and it's incredibly frustrating.. I know he's over it and I know I should be.. but for some reason I can't let go of this one. I can't explain why. I think I'm over it and I don't think about it, until I'm sitting alone with nothing to think about and start to believe he will walk through the door any second and take me back... It's incredibly frustrating and I've never felt like this before. I keep thinking it will pass, I mean, it's only been about 3 weeks. I hope it's all over soon, but I miss him so much...
Weight Loss: I have remained the exact same weight the past few weeks, which is frustrating me. I know I don't have a ton of time for the gym lately but I'm still going and trying to keep low on food intake and trying to keep healthy. NO FRESHMAN 15 ALLOWED! It will not happen! I've been feeling better in my clothes lately but of course, being the pessimist that I am, I know it can always be better. I will keep going with my change and see where I can get this semester. I just need that push and motivation that I miss dearly from high school.
I'm 19 in less than a month, and I'm counting the days.. I can't believe how far I've gotten and who I've become. I was never the girl to walk up to strangers and start a conversation. I could never leave all my friends behind and go to a new school for a new start. I can't believe my progress and I try to be grateful everyday for who I am and what I've become. I think everyone needs to do that. Stop and think about who you used to be, who you are now, and who you can become. It's incredible what life can throw at you and what opportunities you may have. And I'm so happy and so grateful to have started this blog a year and 3 months ago. I love who I'm becoming, and it's up to me to keep going up, or plummet downward. I think I know which road I will choose.
The motivation and the support is EVERYTHING to me. Getting messages that my words and my blog inspire people is more than anything I could have ever dreamed. Being told I'm a hero? I changed a life? Not many people can say they have done that! And you all, my readers, my followers, my best friends, you have no idea what you guys mean to me. I try to tell you all as much as I can, in my blogs, over facebook, I try my best but there are no words to tell you what my heart feels for you guys. My whole life changed and the weight loss, this blog, and you have saved my life. I love you all, so much!
I will be writing whenever I can, but your words through comments, messages on facebook, on my wall, or on mymissiontochange like page, I love them and they inspire me to keep going. And if you ever need someone, I'm here.
Love you all more than anything!
-Alexa Starky
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