I blame the little corner of my mind that believes I'm bipolar.
But, all the good that's happened has made me such a great person and a happier person.
But there will always be that one day right?
That one day where you beat yourself up thinking things could have been even more different. That one day where you see the glass as half empty.
The day where you think you could have had the guy if you were smaller. You could have gone to prom. You could have fit in that dress. You could have been even happier in high school.
Everyone goes through it, don't tell me it will pass. I know it will.
But days like this suck. I really like someone, and they will never know.. because deep down, I'm still scared and insecure. And I'm still too big in some peoples eyes.
I think I'm pretty. Strong. Confident. I'm doing a lot better.
Why can't some others see that sometimes?..
Just having a day.. Needed to write it down.
Hopefully I will feel better come Thursday, when I graduate, and I can heal the wound some have left. It's healing slowly... Just need a bigger band aid.
Motivation and love please?
-Alexa Starky
still learning as I go..
Eff the media for obscuring our brains on what pretty really is. Believe you me, when people look at you, all they see is your personality, (i.e. your leadership, funnies, and your singing voice), nothing else! Limit down the people whose opinions actually matter, and you'll feel a lot better.
ReplyDeleteRemember to always do something special for you especially when the blues creep in. Like....go out to dinner with your mom and sister and perhaps...buy yourself an Ipod...and end the day with Haggen Daz. Yeah that'll do it!! Oh and men....you can't live with them and you can't live without.......oh heck yes we can!!
ReplyDelete