One sentence. One word.
One tiny thing can change everything you are/stand for.
It's weird how one person, especially one you really used to care about, can stick inside you like a disease. You can forget and pretend they aren't sitting there inside, but deep down you know. You just know that they are there.. and it kills you. And you would do anything to forget.. :(
I'm too young for this shit..
This shouldn't be happening. No one deserves this feeling of having NO control. Why isn't there a delete button in your heart? I want to clear everything I have of someone so I can focus on myself.
GOD THATS WHY I DID THIS! So I can focus on me. And I do! But there is that cancer inside that bursts randomly and you can't get rid of it. Where you want to go back and fix what shouldn't be fixed. I'm confusing myself...
I'm trying so hard to forget. And I'm trying to keep myself together and take care of myself.
But, this bipolar feeling about someone is eating at me like a drug and I can't stop thinking about it...
I'm too young. I shouldn't have ever felt like this because all it did was eat me alive...
I need to get to Hawaii. I need time away from here with my friends. I need out for a few days..
But.. the things I would do to hop on a plane right now and go to the one place I love. The place I fell in love with.
The things I would do, to spend 1 day in San Fransisco..
Just 1 day. On bart. alone. where all my smiles used to be. Where I literally left my heart...
Man I need my therapist.. and the gym..
-Alexa Starky.
Not sure how I missed this post but glad you got through these feelings. It is amazing how old feelings can creep in suddenly and then we are back 'in' it for a while. Memories are just that......memories. Most of them we will look back at and remember with fondness mostly because of what we learned and how far we have come since then.
ReplyDeleteI love you. Mom