I really didn't think I would be here at this stage in my life.
I had dreamed that I would be in a new city, living a dream, writing and performing, going to school, being a new person.
I would be lying if I said I was content right now. Who wants to be 19, going on 20, stuck at home getting stomach surgery?
It doesn't help that the process is incredibly long and slow. It is months of waiting and wondering, and all you can do is imagine and hope that it is all worth it in the end.
They have me on new medication for my depression and anxiety. I was SO incredibly against it at first. But, this year was really life changing and turned into a bit of a hell for me. I have been very hurt and have grown apart from a lot of people.
With all that aside, I've definitely learned who my real friends are. The ones who I am comfortable telling anything to, and those who value my opinion and know what to say to make things better.
Everyday is a life lesson for me. And I'm learning about my patience and how much I value this life changing experience.
Not getting prepared for my 2nd year of college is hard for me. But, hopefully within the next month or two I will get a surgery date, I will be working out and just taking care of me.
It will be a learning experience.
As my best friend Brady said to me, it's an Alexa-mester. A semester to focus on Alexa, and learn about myself and what I can do.
This isn't where I thought I would be at this point... But, I'm going to work it, and make it the best it can be.
Life is going to change.
-Alexa Starky
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