I really didn't think I would be here at this stage in my life.
I had dreamed that I would be in a new city, living a dream, writing and performing, going to school, being a new person.
I would be lying if I said I was content right now. Who wants to be 19, going on 20, stuck at home getting stomach surgery?
It doesn't help that the process is incredibly long and slow. It is months of waiting and wondering, and all you can do is imagine and hope that it is all worth it in the end.
They have me on new medication for my depression and anxiety. I was SO incredibly against it at first. But, this year was really life changing and turned into a bit of a hell for me. I have been very hurt and have grown apart from a lot of people.
With all that aside, I've definitely learned who my real friends are. The ones who I am comfortable telling anything to, and those who value my opinion and know what to say to make things better.
Everyday is a life lesson for me. And I'm learning about my patience and how much I value this life changing experience.
Not getting prepared for my 2nd year of college is hard for me. But, hopefully within the next month or two I will get a surgery date, I will be working out and just taking care of me.
It will be a learning experience.
As my best friend Brady said to me, it's an Alexa-mester. A semester to focus on Alexa, and learn about myself and what I can do.
This isn't where I thought I would be at this point... But, I'm going to work it, and make it the best it can be.
Life is going to change.
-Alexa Starky
Monday, August 20, 2012
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Bummer Summer
It has been well over a month since I've written last. I have been focused mainly on finishing summer classes and starting my new doctor experiences.
Doctor experiences you might ask?
Well yes, because as of July 4th, my insurance changed and they now offer the 1 thing I have been waiting 5 years for. Gastric bypass.
I don't know if you readers can go this far back in time with me, but, this blog started due to my interest in gastric surgery. I wanted the lap band when I was 17 and my doctor said I needed to start tracking my process, thus gave me an idea for my blog. As I started that, however, insurance denied me and I basically broke into pieces, thus starting a new mission to change that has gotten me this far.
But, I went to my meetings and I have done COUNTLESS doctor appointments the past few weeks. I have decided to not get full on gastric bypass simply because the risks are higher. And of course the fact that you cannot drink alcohol after that surgery...Hello! I'm not even 21 yet, give me a break.
I have decided to go with what is called the 'sleeve.' It is not actually a sleeve per-say but it is just simply taking out the access 90% of the stomach I don't need and not messing with my intestines or any of that other good stuff.
Since I have decided this, insurance and my doctors have a check list I need to complete full of new diets, different tests I have to do, and specific monthly visits in order to hopefully get the surgery within the next 4 months. So I have done a 345 question psych evaluation, consultations with the surgeons, nutritionists, therapists, and fitness specialists. As well as blood tests, ultra sounds, breathing tests, and more to come within the next few weeks. It's keeping me busy, and it has been incredibly hard and stressful on myself.
No one really wants to get to this point... Because it is such a massive change I'm going to see my therapist regularly and get on some anti-depressants just to be able to keep myself from going insane in the process. It is a lot to handle, this being the reason I haven't been writing or even seeing my friends...
If my friends are reading this, your patience and support is not unnoticed, I'm just not all present right now and I'm going through one of the hardest times in my life and have a specific way of coping with it. My life is changing in a matter of month and it's everything I've dreamed about, but it is a troubling time as well. Lets hope it can only go up from here. I adore you guys.
Now I have heard my share of opinions and negative comments. So, if you plan to leave one here for me, please understand I have made my choice, we have talked long and hard and I have done my research and until you walk in my shoes and see what it is like in my body, I just don't want to hear it from any of you.
I am very excited for yet another change to start!
So until my next big update, I'm on a strict diet with my doctors, I'm exercising at least 30 minutes a day and drink all the water humanly possible. I just don't want to lose track and I want to be the best me possible. And I think that Alexa is on its way.
Sorry the blog is long. A lot to fit in one post, and this isn't even all of it. I'll try to update more.
On to another mission to change. And still learning as I go. And I will keep going and going.
-Alexa Starky
Doctor experiences you might ask?
Well yes, because as of July 4th, my insurance changed and they now offer the 1 thing I have been waiting 5 years for. Gastric bypass.
I don't know if you readers can go this far back in time with me, but, this blog started due to my interest in gastric surgery. I wanted the lap band when I was 17 and my doctor said I needed to start tracking my process, thus gave me an idea for my blog. As I started that, however, insurance denied me and I basically broke into pieces, thus starting a new mission to change that has gotten me this far.
But, I went to my meetings and I have done COUNTLESS doctor appointments the past few weeks. I have decided to not get full on gastric bypass simply because the risks are higher. And of course the fact that you cannot drink alcohol after that surgery...Hello! I'm not even 21 yet, give me a break.
I have decided to go with what is called the 'sleeve.' It is not actually a sleeve per-say but it is just simply taking out the access 90% of the stomach I don't need and not messing with my intestines or any of that other good stuff.
Since I have decided this, insurance and my doctors have a check list I need to complete full of new diets, different tests I have to do, and specific monthly visits in order to hopefully get the surgery within the next 4 months. So I have done a 345 question psych evaluation, consultations with the surgeons, nutritionists, therapists, and fitness specialists. As well as blood tests, ultra sounds, breathing tests, and more to come within the next few weeks. It's keeping me busy, and it has been incredibly hard and stressful on myself.
No one really wants to get to this point... Because it is such a massive change I'm going to see my therapist regularly and get on some anti-depressants just to be able to keep myself from going insane in the process. It is a lot to handle, this being the reason I haven't been writing or even seeing my friends...
If my friends are reading this, your patience and support is not unnoticed, I'm just not all present right now and I'm going through one of the hardest times in my life and have a specific way of coping with it. My life is changing in a matter of month and it's everything I've dreamed about, but it is a troubling time as well. Lets hope it can only go up from here. I adore you guys.
Now I have heard my share of opinions and negative comments. So, if you plan to leave one here for me, please understand I have made my choice, we have talked long and hard and I have done my research and until you walk in my shoes and see what it is like in my body, I just don't want to hear it from any of you.
I am very excited for yet another change to start!
So until my next big update, I'm on a strict diet with my doctors, I'm exercising at least 30 minutes a day and drink all the water humanly possible. I just don't want to lose track and I want to be the best me possible. And I think that Alexa is on its way.
Sorry the blog is long. A lot to fit in one post, and this isn't even all of it. I'll try to update more.
On to another mission to change. And still learning as I go. And I will keep going and going.
-Alexa Starky
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