The Old Me is Dead and Gone, Dead and Gone.

I've been traveling on this road to long, trying to find my way back home. The old me is dead and gone, dead and gone.

I was listening to this song earlier on the week. It got me thinking a lot about what I'm doing right now, and where I thought I would be right now. My whole life I was a dreamer, thinking I would make it big one day. Be that star overweight girls can look up to. Make a difference in this world by being heard for the first time in my life.
I always wanted that.
What I didn't realize was that I'm being heard already. I've been writing for almost 2 years. I have a voice and I've used it already. The whole world can't hear me, no. But this is slowly becoming enough for me.

I've been trying to find myself and what I wanted to be for so long. I've wanted to be a movie star, a singer, a director, a make up artist, a hair stylist, a marine biologist, all of this stuff! But I woke up the other day, and I just started crying...

I cried because I was tired of being alive. I was tired of living a pointless life every single day where I didn't know who I was or what my purpose was. So I sat in bed for hours, staring at the ceiling and talking to myself. Who was I and who did I want to be?

I started thinking about my love for acting, which is my current major. I know I love it, but I am also supposed to have 2 contrasting monologues done and ready to go by Tuesday and I've barely looked at them. That is when I knew, my passion was dying...

I cried even more, realizing that the ONLY thing I know was something I didn't want to keep going at. So I thought even more about what could possibly be in my heart that would make me want to get up every morning.

Teach.

I've decided to see my councilor later in the week and see if I can change my major to a liberal arts and get my 2 year degree. Then as a junior I will head to ASU and get my secondary education in English major. I want to teach high school English. Maybe even at my old high school.

I guess I have theater to thank for all this. It is a scary business, and very difficult to get into. I've been lucky enough to have met my best friends, some incredible mentors, and been involved in amazing work. It taught me to move past the stereotype as well as embrace it. It showed me that I'm stronger than I think I am. I have more leadership in me than I thought. And I do have a talent. But I can use it elsewhere.

I don't need the fancy cars, the millions of dollars, or millions of people to know who I am. I want to make a difference, so I will make a difference in a classroom. While I'm changing my major and taking these classes and getting out of community college, I will be working out and taking major care of myself. To look my absolute best at the most well known party school in the United States.

Things are changing for me. Reality struck a chord and I'm moving on.
Give me your thoughts. What are your dreams? Comment and tell me what you believe your purpose is. I'm curious. You read what I have to say, I want to read about yours.

Thank you readers for all your support.
This is a big leap for me. One dream gone, a new one begins.

That old me is dead and gone
But that new me will be alright