A year and a half I've been writing this blog. I have about 200 posts..
I have notebooks full of stories.
When I'm at the gym, I analyze my thoughts and think about how I could create a movie about them. I take scenarios and put them on paper and create new worlds based off my feelings. I think about book ideas every time I'm on an elliptical machine.
I have an online journal basically telling everyone about my world and my struggles. Putting it all out there in writing for the world to see.
I love to write. I love to inspire.
And it took an hour of lying down on a sofa talking to my therapist to realize, I'm a writer. I'm a story teller. She was practically applauding me for figuring it out. I was laughing about all my stories and notebooks full of writings and she said 'STOP LAUGHING!' You don't take yourself seriously when you laugh about something. This is a passion you have and you aren't thinking seriously about it. And she was right. When I stopped laughing and starting thinking about everything I've written and how much I've done, even in elementary school.. I love to write..
Writing down everything and making up stories has been an outlet. It saved my life. I've lost weight because I'm writing it all out.
I guess after this big rant and all the analyzing I've done, I realized, I want to write. So, after this semester I might major in journalism or english.. I can only imagine being an author or script writer..
I'm figuring it out! It's crazy!!
Life Update: I GOT MY TEST RESULTS BACK FROM THE ULTRA SOUND! No problems with my organs! They are all ok! So that's great and I don't have to get another blood test until January! YAY! I'm currently house sitting with these 2 incredible golden retrievers. It's like a total zen where I can relax and think and not be disturbed. I am loving it. SAN DIEGO IN 6 DAYS!
-Alexa Starky
Friday, July 29, 2011
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Ready For A Vacation
Everyone needs a little 'me' time. It really does do wonders to the mind if you take some time to not think about reality for awhile.
With that being said, I'm taking a few days later this week to dog/house sit in a lovely home for a friend of my moms. She has 2 amazing golden retrievers who I've watched before and I'm so excited to just take the time to relax and be alone. I will have time to write and time to zen myself and really think about my thoughts. Not to mention time to see my therapist and go to the gym when I can. It will be good for me.
Then, literally a day after that, I will be heading to San Diego with my mom and sister. We will be having fun in sea world and at the beach for a few days so it will be really nice to get out of town with them and just enjoy a few days. We haven't done that in awhile.
So I'm really looking forward to it.
:)
I'm trying my best to stay on this summer.
I'm not gonna lie, it's hard not having that support at school anymore. I miss all my friends from school. I miss seeing my crush everyday and wanted to keep getting better to see if maybe he notices me. Ya know, stupid teenager things that I miss so much. But I'm trying to keep myself motivated and going. I'm trying to keep myself up, but it's taking a lot of thought and a lot of therapy. But it's been good.
I got an ultra sound a few days ago on my whole abdomen to see if any organs were in-larged.. I'm worried because they haven't gotten back to me.. But I will keep you updated and see where that goes.. only time will tell.
-Alexa Starky
With that being said, I'm taking a few days later this week to dog/house sit in a lovely home for a friend of my moms. She has 2 amazing golden retrievers who I've watched before and I'm so excited to just take the time to relax and be alone. I will have time to write and time to zen myself and really think about my thoughts. Not to mention time to see my therapist and go to the gym when I can. It will be good for me.
Then, literally a day after that, I will be heading to San Diego with my mom and sister. We will be having fun in sea world and at the beach for a few days so it will be really nice to get out of town with them and just enjoy a few days. We haven't done that in awhile.
So I'm really looking forward to it.
:)
I'm trying my best to stay on this summer.
I'm not gonna lie, it's hard not having that support at school anymore. I miss all my friends from school. I miss seeing my crush everyday and wanted to keep getting better to see if maybe he notices me. Ya know, stupid teenager things that I miss so much. But I'm trying to keep myself motivated and going. I'm trying to keep myself up, but it's taking a lot of thought and a lot of therapy. But it's been good.
I got an ultra sound a few days ago on my whole abdomen to see if any organs were in-larged.. I'm worried because they haven't gotten back to me.. But I will keep you updated and see where that goes.. only time will tell.
-Alexa Starky
Monday, July 18, 2011
The Best Feeling In The World.
The best feeling in the whole wide world is when it's just an average Monday. You're sitting here doing nothing. Then suddenly on facebook you get get a chat pop up from someone you don't talk to much. They tell you how amazing you are and how you're an inspiration and are beautiful.
That's the gorgeous thing about life.
People doing simple things like that. They don't have to do anything or say anything, but they do and it puts the biggest smile on my face.
I guess that's why I strive to be the best me I can be. I do this, not only for myself, but to show others that bullying and hurting and feeling alone is NOT the way to live. I figured this is how it would be forever. People used to dislike me because I hid from life, and they took that as being rude and like I didn't like anyone.
Ever since I put it all out there with this blog, a whole new me is out there. People have learned that you can mold your life the way you want it to be.
I know I've said it before, but it's so crazy looking at my blogs from a year ago and seeing who I was then and what I've become.. It's like magic to me. And I'm so grateful! Everyone who tells me they read my blog, everyone who's helped me along the way, everyone who now understands who I am. I would not have been able to write and let it all out there without all the help and support.
I guess the main purpose for this entry is to tell people, thank you. People tell me I'm inspiring them, but truly, you're inspiring me. And we need to learn to inspire each other more often, I think the world would be a better place.
-Alexa Starky
That's the gorgeous thing about life.
People doing simple things like that. They don't have to do anything or say anything, but they do and it puts the biggest smile on my face.
I guess that's why I strive to be the best me I can be. I do this, not only for myself, but to show others that bullying and hurting and feeling alone is NOT the way to live. I figured this is how it would be forever. People used to dislike me because I hid from life, and they took that as being rude and like I didn't like anyone.
Ever since I put it all out there with this blog, a whole new me is out there. People have learned that you can mold your life the way you want it to be.
I know I've said it before, but it's so crazy looking at my blogs from a year ago and seeing who I was then and what I've become.. It's like magic to me. And I'm so grateful! Everyone who tells me they read my blog, everyone who's helped me along the way, everyone who now understands who I am. I would not have been able to write and let it all out there without all the help and support.
I guess the main purpose for this entry is to tell people, thank you. People tell me I'm inspiring them, but truly, you're inspiring me. And we need to learn to inspire each other more often, I think the world would be a better place.
-Alexa Starky
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
It's been awhile. And it's been hard.
I have been slacking, I know. I haven't been writing.
So here we go. I have good news, and bad news.
Good:
I got some blood results back about 2 weeks ago. Since last year exactly, I've dropped a MASSIVE amount of points in cholesterol, blood sugar, and all that fun stuff and have no signs of diabetes. All the exercise is working out for me and it's making me stronger and more healthy and that was really good to hear. I am also at the gym all the time, especially after that. It was a good motivation to keep going.
Bad:
I have been going through some bad times lately inside. I have been feeling like a failure a lot this week. I just feel like my life could be going a different path. I accomplished so much in high school and in the past and I feel like things should have been better for me by now.. I called up my therapist and talked to my main supported, my mother, and I'm slowly understanding that this is all just a stepping stone to a successful life and sometimes things aren't what they could be and you just need to work to get them there. I just haven't been having that confidence in myself.
Now one more piece of good news before I go! My sister and I sang the national anthem at the University of Phoenix Stadium, home of the cardinals for a huge soccer game this weekend! We filmed our experience, which was incredible, so please check it out!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56azq3PMdek
Thank you so much for keeping up with my blog and with my change and I am really grateful for everyone helping me along the way. I can't thank you enough.
-Alexa Starky
So here we go. I have good news, and bad news.
Good:
I got some blood results back about 2 weeks ago. Since last year exactly, I've dropped a MASSIVE amount of points in cholesterol, blood sugar, and all that fun stuff and have no signs of diabetes. All the exercise is working out for me and it's making me stronger and more healthy and that was really good to hear. I am also at the gym all the time, especially after that. It was a good motivation to keep going.
Bad:
I have been going through some bad times lately inside. I have been feeling like a failure a lot this week. I just feel like my life could be going a different path. I accomplished so much in high school and in the past and I feel like things should have been better for me by now.. I called up my therapist and talked to my main supported, my mother, and I'm slowly understanding that this is all just a stepping stone to a successful life and sometimes things aren't what they could be and you just need to work to get them there. I just haven't been having that confidence in myself.
Now one more piece of good news before I go! My sister and I sang the national anthem at the University of Phoenix Stadium, home of the cardinals for a huge soccer game this weekend! We filmed our experience, which was incredible, so please check it out!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56azq3PMdek
Thank you so much for keeping up with my blog and with my change and I am really grateful for everyone helping me along the way. I can't thank you enough.
-Alexa Starky
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