Slowly and painfully getting there. I'm at the gym every single day. Everyday! No breaks. And I just haven't been getting the results I want. And I've been with this blog for 13 months now, so it's been a long time and I just don't feel fully satisfied. At the gym there are these RIDICULOUSLY gorgeous guys and I just think, they would never go for someone like me. Because I'm not thin and beautiful and a model. I'm not the type most would 'lust' over and it's really frustrating.
And also, because I have had some success, I've become the therapist for others. I ADORE helping and I love it, but I don't feel like I'm on the right path anymore. And recently I've been looking at myself wondering if I will ever change. Morph into something new, and beautiful in a different way...
I'm also lonely... I want that perfect guy, that perfect summer romance, that perfect moment.
I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason. But no, no, John Hughes did not direct my life. -Easy A
I want something. I want that feeling again that things are just perfectly perfect. Because I don't feel perfect...
I just work so hard everyday and hope, but never seem to succeed.
Might try a strict diet if this keeps up. I need something to change because I really don't want to start spiraling downward...
Help from my supporters?..
-Alexa Starky
There is absolutely NO doubt you are on the path to be exactly what you want to be...inside and out. You are an inspiration by sharing all of your feelings as you walk through your Mission to Change.
ReplyDeleteKeep your head held up high and one step in front of the other. :)
You inspire me, Alexa!! Not everyone is willing to bare all (the ups AND the downs) of a true journey like this and you're doing it. I'm definitely supporting you throughout your mission to change and i KNOW you can do it!! stay strong beautiful!! xoxox
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