Well, in my opinion, it is a bunch of cranky teenagers getting together early in the morning to learn something we will never learn again and with stress and problems on top. Sounding to pessimistic?
It's just how I am feeling right now.
If I could list all my problems, my readers would cross me out sooo, I'm not going to do that. But truly, so many mixed emotions about everything that it's exhausting. It's hard to stay motivated with everything when it feels like nothing is going right.
I need a vacation. I need a vacation away from everyone and everything. I need to find a zen. I need to find myself, because I don't know who I am anymore...
That's hard to admit, but it's so hard to be anyone. I mean, there are some people and some moments where I forget about all of my problems. But, once it's over, it's right back into sadness..
My boyfriend and I are doing better. It's good, but I don't feel great about it. I mean, I don't feel great about anything I do anymore. I don't know what to feel anymore and it has effected everything including my friendships, my relationships, and just me.
It's stressful. And I want it all to go away so I can focus on me and trying to become a better me. But as of now, that's not really happening.
I swear, paradise is calling me. Where there is nothing to worry about. No tears, no stress, no compromise, just, pure bliss. Is that so hard to ask for?...
I wish more people, especially my friends, would read this and understand what is going on underneath all they see at school... I guess that's too much to ask for.
Oh well.. I'm trying here...
I just want everything normal..
-Alexa Starky
Hawaii soon :) only a couple months!
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