BMI = TMI

Step 1: Complete.
I went to my Lap Band seminar and it was incredibly informative. I've filled and turned in all of the paper work and am waiting for them to call which will be in about 3 weeks latest. The seminar taught me a lot about what is going on inside me and what exactly happens when you get the band. It sounds like a blessing for me. It is everything I could ever dream of and I feel like it is finally set in stone that this is exactly what will happen in the future.
I certainly have my mom to thank for all of this. She makes it all possible. She is my wall and she has helped me through so much! Thanks Mom :)

Also, my eyes were opened to what worse could look like. At the seminar, some of the people had to be in wheelchairs because they couldn't walk, some people didn't fit in their chairs, or had to use canes. Some people were so large, it was so hard to look at. I felt so much pain for them because it is so unfair. I don't see how anyone can bully or make fun of someone like me when it can get so much worse and is a scary and harmful condition to be in. It made me realize it could be worse and that I need to do something about this, and fast.

And about the BMI thing. Yeah, NOT ok. If you do not know, BMI stands for Body Mass Index. And it is on a paper and it is like a grid determining where you are and what is healthy and what is obese or even worse. It is scary to see where you are on the scale BMI wise. You want to drop it so badly. And the seminar and the BMI scale really opened my eyes that I need to work on this and fix this, and fast. My BMI is certainly TMI.

As for the Weight Watchers update : I did really well this week which was rather surprising to me. I lost almost 3 pounds this week which is really good. I bet it was because of the craziness and stress of homecoming week and the dance (where I must have burned all my calories from the whole week!).

And as for doctor stuff, I am unsure of what is going on... They don't know what is up with my massive white blood cell count and we are going to be doing more tests in about 8 weeks to see if it will elevate even more than it already has. It is complicated and my stress and anxiety has given me other problems such as sleep deprivation.. So I am on a medicine that should help that.
In other words, I am a happy, satisfied, but stressed out hot mess.
Thats the only way I really know how to put it.

It is a crazy and wild journey, but I am taking baby steps and large leaps of faith. And I think all of this will eventually lead me to the right place.

-Alexa Starky