You know...

You know that feeling when you really want to say something to someone? Like, you have it so set in your mind. You've rehearsed it about 20 million times alone to yourself. You think about those words before you go to bed. You think the scenario through over and over again. Imagining every possible outcome?
You know that feeling when you have the opportunity to say it out loud, then never do... And you still think about it a million times over.

You know you aren't really ever satisfied because you're so scared of your perfect scene not going as you planned.
I'd kill to have the guts and courage to say what I've been planning for months and months. It eats at me every single day.

But, the more I get screwed over, the less I want to say to you, and more I want to say to the incredible, sweet, generous, real human being next to me. 

Maybe I can't plan the perfect scene with the perfect guy and the perfect outcome. Maybe you have to get torn apart to figure out what is really worth the words....

You know that worthless feeling? That one you get when someone completely screws you over, and you basically feel hollow?

I don't really have that anymore...
You are so not worth the words...

You know that feeling where you can't let go?
You know that feeling where you finally let go, and put it in a blog and move on to the new words you hope to say to someone one day...?

I know that feeling.

I think it's going to be an ok summer. Without you. And with everyone else. 

-Alexa Starky