It's Killing Me

Lets make a lovely list of the things I'm taking away, or decreasing slowly, from my life.
Because at the end of the day it isn't doing me any good, it's a downfall, or it's simply killing me.
Disclaimer : Somewhat over dramatized :)

McDonalds is killing me : No more! Fast food can be an every now and then thing, but it will not be the whole freaking meal, and it will be a small. The money adds up, and every time it is consumed, it slows me down. It's killing me.

Heart ache is killing me : Eew. OVER IT. I'm so happy with my boyfriend, he is wonderful and supports everything I do. Even my love for Max Adler. I'm keeping us strong and healthy. And any heart ache or regrets I had, they are gone. Because they were killing me.

Sitting around all day : If I have nothing to do, If I have no class or I'm not working until that night and I notice I'm just sitting around, I need to find something productive to do. If there is really nothing, OFF TO THE GYM! I'm finally back on that track and I've been going. Very happy to get back on there. But no more just sitting there! It does nothing for me.

Spending money I don't have : KILLING my checking account. Saving up a ton of money and doing something fabulous and special for me with it. No more buying crap I don't need. And going to try only spending on food when I'm out with a friend or something. No more few dollars here, and a few there. It adds up!

This one is really personal... Don't judge me.
Throwing up my food... : I do it sometimes, when I feel guilty about what I've eaten. And every time I do, I hate myself. I know it's horrible, I know it's gross. But it's desperation. It's been going on a few months. Amazing what pressure and bullying can do to someone, even when they are so motivated to help others and change. But I have to stop it, it's killing me.

Lack of sleep: I NEED more sleep! I can't do the 5 or 6 hours anymore. I need to go to bed at a good time and wake up at a decent time. Starting tomorrow I guess, seems that it's 1:30 a.m. right now..

NEGATIVITY : I can't listen to the negativity anymore. I can't think that way and I can't listen to it. I hear people all over facebook, twitter, youtube, and all around me, talking about fat people. I hear the verbal abuse, the name calling, the picking on. And I've had enough. I am not going to let that poison effect my life and what I've accomplished thus far.

I have more to do, and more to work on to give myself a better life. I'm going to start a P90X or Insanity sort of thing soon, and go to the gym at LEAST every other day. No more excuses. No more bad stuff infecting my lifestyle.
Here's to making it better. Videos will be up soon about the holidays and New Years resolutions!

I love you all so much!

-Alexa Starky