College Students can be RUDE.

Like, get over yourselves! You're in college. Just because you have massive muscles and all your buddies in your class, doesn't mean you're the shit.

Just because mom and dad give you all your money and you have huge hair doesn't mean you're the hottest thing in the room. And it certainly doesn't give you a right to keep mocking the smart kid in the class.

I keep my mouth shut in that class because I want nothing to do with them. All they talk about is football, their muscles, and their exes or current girl/boyfriends. Like, come on. I literally get in there, get a grade, and get out. I keep my mouth closed and try to get as little attention on me as possible. It reminds me a lot of myself when I was younger. The insecure, quiet me comes out in that class. Sure it's annoying and I want to say something, but I get too mad and I don't want to be judged so I shut up. Besides, all my other classes seem ok and I can be myself in those. But man, that class.... It's very frustrating to me.

I have, however, made friends in my other classes. I love love love! my drama class with all my heart. They are the coolest people ever! And I'm happy to say I've made some good friends in there. And I'm glad I can be myself. And in my Reading class that's also sadly required, I've made my fair share of friends/people to talk to. It's clear that none of us wanna be in there... so we just make it fun for what it is which is special.

And my English 101 class. AKA, the best class ever! I get to bring out my writer brain every Tuesday and Thursday! And the class knows my story about bullying and my change and what not so I can totally be myself. I love that class and everyone is legit. I've made some really good friends. There is the Liz Lee type girl who is the most legit, most real girl out there. We are always talking about her escapes through high school and she is just a cool person. And of course the unbelievably awesome, very fabulous, very gay guy. He is the sweetest person who befriended everyone, and isn't afraid to speak up and be himself. It's admirable and I'm happy I got to meet him. There is a girl from my high school as well who is the funniest thing and has the greatest laugh. And the motorcycle rider guy with a kid at home who isn't afraid to say what he thinks, and he makes it funny. Totally awesome. And the kind, sweet, gorgeous guy who works at the best place ever! He's fun to talk to and I'm happy I got to talking to him. Basically, it's the most different people in the world, all combined into one class with one incredible and hip teacher. I get very happy at 3 o'clock on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

I'm currently sitting in my library, alone like I do everyday. Waiting for my theater class to begin at 1:30.. Everyone has their 1 or 2 friends talking and networking. Or some are alone, like me, at their oversized table with their macbook pro, minding their own business. Not to mention, there is an incredibly gorgeous one at approx. 2 o clock. I don't know.. I hate being alone at this school but at the same time, it's kind of nice. I run into friends now and then but, most of the time, I'm alone. I'm sure it won't stay this way forver, but it's been about 6 weeks now and so far, all is the same. Just more social in classes. I suppose I can't complain. I always have my readers :)

I'm watching what I eat and I'm exercising (well, trying) everyday. I will weigh myself tomorrow morning and see what the damage, I mean results, are :)

-Alexa Starky

Vlog #2. Stop fat jokes!!

New video blog! Talking about school, work, life, my challenge I did on facebook, and fat jokes. I see them everywhere! STOP BULLYING! STOP WITH JOKES. You have no idea whose reading this. You don't know what someones story is. Stop with the bullying! It's out of hand! Change a life. Don't ruin one!

Enjoy the vlog. I will be writing soon. <3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mA_5vN78vs

111st Post!

Alright. So I have some fun news for my lovely readers about today. It was certainly a good one.

Tonight I went to the store I work at, A Second Look to buy some work clothes that I so desperately needed. I went into my size and went to try some stuff on with my mom. The 1st pair I tried on were WAY too big.. I thought it was weird and that the sizes must run bigger in that brand. Then, the 2nd pair was too big. Like those weight loss commercials where the fake actors are wearing pants that are too large for them big. I was so confused! My mom was like "You need to go a size down!" I HAVEN'T HEARD THOSE WORDS IN FOREVER! I was so thrilled and so happy and I got some really cute clothes and it's incredible to feel that good about what you're wearing.

That was definitely motivating.

Earlier today I had my English 101 class. It was my day to read my rough draft out loud and get feedback from my classmates and teacher. Mine was about being bullied for the first time ever about 10 years ago. It was a really touchy subject to read out loud.. I was really nervous that it wouldn't get good reviews. After I finished reading my essay everyone was SO in love with it, I was so happy. Everyone was asking me questions and could understand me and wanted to be my friend. It was just incredible. They all had to give me back the notes they wrote for me and they all said how inspiring and beautiful I am and how they loved the story and I am still full of happiness and butterflies. It was the best feeling in the world to hear that from people I haven't known very long.

So in the end, my job is a work out and is helping me lose weight, I'm feeling good about myself, I'm keeping busy, I'm making money, I'm doing well in school, and I'm still managing to keep my blog up and inspire people that change is good! I still can't believe the before and after pictures and who I once was and who I've become. I'm very happy.

Oh! And I'm in love. Yep. I've fallen in love. I am so in love with my readers and supporters. I can't believe I've had you guys reading and watching my life change for over a year now. I'm gaining more and more followers on here and on facebook and I honestly don't think I could have gotten anywhere without my followers and supporters. I love you all with all my heart, more than any boy could ever replace.

-Alexa Starky

It's Been Too Long.

College and my new job have me completely tied up lately. I ADORE my new job to pieces! I work with the most incredible people and I love it so much! Come visit me and A Second Look on shea and 32nd st and shop! Yay advertising.

But, they have me working a lot and if I'm not working I'm at school, if I'm not at school I'm doing homework alone in a library.

But, I can't seem to sleep tonight so I will post some updates.

School: I'm making friends slowly but surely. It was nice walking into an environment where I knew no one. I love my theater class so much! They are the coolest people and my teacher is fantastic. But the class that stole my heart is my English 101 class. My teacher is amazing, I get to write every single day or at least talk about writing, and it's truly perfection. We had to write a rough draft to our own descriptive narrative for our first essay. Mine was just a rough draft and when we turned it in, I got incredible feedback from my teacher. She even announced it to the class. That finalized it. I'm changing my major to a literature or English major for the next semester. I needed just that, and I know it's my true passion and I want to write forever.

I definitely have this blog and you guys to thank for that. Who knew trying to change my body and myself could lead to a change in my passions as well. I couldn't be happier with that.

Work: I got my job about 4 weeks ago and I just love it. They have me working a lot but, that just means more money, more time to walk around and burn some calories seems that I don't have a ton of gym time anymore, and I just get to focus on something. I'm very content there.

Love: I'm still caught up on the last issue that went down.. Any down time I have, or whenever something great happens, he's the first one I want to text or he's the first one I think about and it's incredibly frustrating.. I know he's over it and I know I should be.. but for some reason I can't let go of this one. I can't explain why. I think I'm over it and I don't think about it, until I'm sitting alone with nothing to think about and start to believe he will walk through the door any second and take me back... It's incredibly frustrating and I've never felt like this before. I keep thinking it will pass, I mean, it's only been about 3 weeks. I hope it's all over soon, but I miss him so much...

Weight Loss: I have remained the exact same weight the past few weeks, which is frustrating me. I know I don't have a ton of time for the gym lately but I'm still going and trying to keep low on food intake and trying to keep healthy. NO FRESHMAN 15 ALLOWED! It will not happen! I've been feeling better in my clothes lately but of course, being the pessimist that I am, I know it can always be better. I will keep going with my change and see where I can get this semester. I just need that push and motivation that I miss dearly from high school.

I'm 19 in less than a month, and I'm counting the days.. I can't believe how far I've gotten and who I've become. I was never the girl to walk up to strangers and start a conversation. I could never leave all my friends behind and go to a new school for a new start. I can't believe my progress and I try to be grateful everyday for who I am and what I've become. I think everyone needs to do that. Stop and think about who you used to be, who you are now, and who you can become. It's incredible what life can throw at you and what opportunities you may have. And I'm so happy and so grateful to have started this blog a year and 3 months ago. I love who I'm becoming, and it's up to me to keep going up, or plummet downward. I think I know which road I will choose.

The motivation and the support is EVERYTHING to me. Getting messages that my words and my blog inspire people is more than anything I could have ever dreamed. Being told I'm a hero? I changed a life? Not many people can say they have done that! And you all, my readers, my followers, my best friends, you have no idea what you guys mean to me. I try to tell you all as much as I can, in my blogs, over facebook, I try my best but there are no words to tell you what my heart feels for you guys. My whole life changed and the weight loss, this blog, and you have saved my life. I love you all, so much!

I will be writing whenever I can, but your words through comments, messages on facebook, on my wall, or on mymissiontochange like page, I love them and they inspire me to keep going. And if you ever need someone, I'm here.

Love you all more than anything!

-Alexa Starky