The past 3 years have been the most incredible adventure for me. I've grown in more ways than I ever could have imagined. This blog gave me a pathway and a meaning in a life I was giving up on. It allowed me to express myself in ways I never thought possible. It kept me motivated to make a change and give a voice to the other over weight teenage girls out there who went through the same problems I did. With the bullies, the health issues, and everything that comes with the complicated lifestyle I dealt with for 20 years, it all came together in this blog.
In this blog I dealt with my first love, my first heartbreak, rejection, my first real goal, a lot of firsts. And this, is my last.
As my readers know, I finally was approved for surgery and went through with it on November 20th, only a few weeks ago. I don't think I have ever felt so good about myself. And for once in my life, I feel like I am getting somewhere. I'm feeling healthier, I'm comfortable in my body which I have never felt before, and I am in a better place mentally.
I feel like the blog is just a crutch now. It was a place I could vent and express the words I was too afraid to in public. I'm a happier Alexa. I feel like this mission is outdated and I don't need it anymore. I won't be writing publicly any longer.
I can't even explain how grateful I am for what came of this blog, and the people who surround it. I've become closer with my friends, I was able to share a part of me I never thought I could with everyone. I started talking to people I never thought I would. And I feel like I am at such a positive place, that it is a good time to say goodbye.
Of course, Facebook will be a good place for big updates on my progression. But in the long run, this is for me, and no one else. And the worrying about anonymous opinions and the need to explain myself, isn't a priority anymore.
I'm finally in love with myself. This life change came at a perfect time in my life. I know it's cheesy but, this blog definitely saved my life. I was so trapped in my own mind before this place, and getting the opportunity to let people into my view of life was the best thing the last 3 years brought to me.
Maybe one day I'll want to write again. But that will be a whole new blog, and a whole other chapter in my life. Thank you readers for supporting me and being my backbone as I grew up and matured.
It was rough, but it was a time I will never forget.
With all my love,
Alexa Starky.
